The Faculty
by miss-black-eyeliner
Summary: A remake of the movie The Faculty starring our beloved INAHB characters. J/C, T/V, H/J. Enjoy!!COMPLETE!!
1. The New Girl

The Faculty  
  
Description: A remake of the movie The Faculty starring our beloved INAHB characters. J/C, T/V, H/J. Enjoy!!  
  
A/N: I just watched the movie the Faculty and got an idea for a fan fic!!!! I hope you guys like it!!  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own plot of story, all characters belong to someone else, even the person(s) not from INAHB. Got all that?  
  
Hank Beechman walked into school Monday morning feeling like it was an ordinary day. He noticed his fellow classmate/friend Tyler Connell standing at the front with a couple of the members from the football team, who they were both members of. He made his way towards them quickly, not noticing the girl passing by him. He collided with her, causing her to drop all her books on the floor.  
  
"Sorry about that," he apologized, and then walked away.  
  
"No problem," the girl murmured to his retreating back.  
  
On the other side of campus, in the parking lot, Jamie Waite stood near his shiny black Mustang smoking a cigarette. His girlfriend Catie Roth snatched it out of his mouth and stepped on it.  
  
"How many times have I told you that shit'll kill you," she snapped.  
  
Jamie grimaced then pulled her toward him, kissing her on the lips. "Ok, I'll stop if you want me to," he replied.  
  
"Sure, that's what you ALWAYS say," she said with a smile, sarcasm evident in her voice.  
  
She leaned into his car window, checking her gothic make-up and adjusting her black clothing.  
  
"Why do you even bother? You know I'm just going to kiss off all your lipstick and mess up your clothes anyway," Jamie said, with a seductive smile.  
  
Catie rolled her eyes and allowed Jamie to envelop her in his arms.  
  
He captured her lips in a probing kiss, running his tongue around in her mouth. She sucked gently on his lower lip. Something he loved.  
  
They were just really getting at, ready to climb into Jamie's backseat, when their Principal, Carlson, walked up to them.  
  
"Ahem! Miss Roth! Mr. Waite!," He interrupted sternly, " I have been getting information from students that you've been selling drugs again, need I remind you that can lead to serious consequences??!," he continued angrily.  
  
"No sir," they replied in a monotone unison.  
  
"Don't let me catch you doing it or it'll be an immediate suspension!!," he warned and walked away.  
  
They flipped him off while his back was turned and returned to kissing.  
  
  
  
Val Lanier was practicing with her cheerleading with her fellow squad when she did a cartwheel landing in front of a timid blond girl.  
  
"Sorry! I almost hit you," Val cried out quickly.  
  
"It's okay, actually, I wanted to know if I could try out for the squad, I'm new here," she replied shyly.  
  
"Really? Well I'm Val! That girl over there is Heather, she's the head cheerleader so you can ask her kay'?" Val piped up perkily.  
  
"Thanks, my names Mary Jane by the way," she smiled and walked to Heather.  
  
"It was nice meeting you!," Val called back to her.  
  
Jasmine walked into the newspaper office of the school (for the sake of the story, she and hank are writing for the newspaper) She held her head high with pride. She was, after all, the head editor. She walked to her desk and took seat while some of the people in the office came up to her asking for advice.  
  
"We have a new girl who wants to join", a girl informed her.  
  
"Let me meet her," Jasmine shrugged.  
  
"Her name's Mary Jane," the girl added, and whisked away for a moment before returning with Mary Jane.  
  
"Hi, I'm Jasmine, the head Editor," she introduced herself, a note of pride in her voice.  
  
"Hi, I'm Mary Jane, I love writing and I was hoping I could write for the paper," she said.  
  
"Sure, we can do a trial period to see if you're any good and if you are you can have a permanent position, sound good?," Jasmine asked.  
  
"Oh yes, that sounds lovely," Mary Jane replied politely.  
  
"Great, we'll get you set up, right this way..." Jasmine said, getting up to show Mary Jane would write.  
  
  
  
Hank was making his way to the Newspaper office with his new article in HAND. He walked in to find Jasmine showing a girl around and motioned to her that he had his article.  
  
"Here's my article Jasmine," Hank said, turning the paper over.  
  
"Thanks Hank," Jasmine smiled, leaning over to kiss him on the cheek.  
  
Hank looked over at the new girl, "Hey that's the girl I bumped into this morning, I had a feeling she was new," he exclaimed.  
  
"Yeah, her names Mary Jane, really polite and nice, she's trying out for the paper," Jasmine explained.  
  
"Cool," Hank replied, shoving his hands in his pockets, "Well I got to get going, see ya later," he said, giving her a light kiss good-bye.  
  
Later In Class...  
  
Jamie and Catie sat in the back row, making out for as long as they could until the bell rang.  
  
Val and Tyler were both stealing glances at each other and blushing when they caught each other. They both liked each other, but hadn't mentioned it.  
  
Hank was sitting in the front with his hands folded neatly on the desk.  
  
And the new girl, Mary Jane was sitting near the window...watching the sprinklers.  
  
The loud bell rang, signifying the beginning of class.  
  
Jamie and Catie reluctantly pulled apart and faced forward. Catie re- applied her lipstick as the teacher got started.  
  
"Class, I'd like you all to meet our new student, Mary Jane," the teacher introduced.  
  
All the heads in class turned to Mary Jane...who was still watching the sprinklers.  
  
A/N: That's all for now!! Review if you are intrigued!!! 


	2. Mingling

Chapter 2 Fitting In  
  
A/N: Sorry it took so long to update but I've been super busy!! Thanks to everyone who reviewed!!! I realize that some characters might be out of character like Jamie's bike being replaced by a car and the fact that he and Catie are already dating but it was all changed for the story. So if you see any character mistakes, I probably did it on purpose. Hope that clears up some confusion.  
  
"Mary Jane?" the teacher beckoned, "Mary Jane!"  
  
Mary Jane's head turned away from the window and looked innocently at the teacher.  
  
"Would you like to introduce yourself to the class?" the teacher asked, slightly raising an eyebrow at her.  
  
Mary Jane sat up a little straighter and tucked her hair behind her ears.  
  
"My name is Mary Jane, I just moved here from Texas and I'm so happy to be here to meet all you fine people," she said, giving everyone a bright smile.  
  
"Oh please...," Catie muttered, rolling her eyes.  
  
"That will be enough Miss Roth," the teacher scolded, "Now enough chit chatter, on with the lesson.," the teacher said and began to drone on about the wonders of science.  
  
Near the end of Class..  
  
Jasmine leaned over to talk to Val, "She's really nice, but sort of strange, don't you think?" she whispered, looking at Mary Jane  
  
"Hmmm...what did you say?" Val murmured, not catching anything that had been said, due to the fact that she was staring holes into Tyler's head.  
  
Jasmine did not miss that little fact and couldn't help but laugh at Val.  
  
"Why don't you ask him out already?" Jasmine asked.  
  
"No way! What if he doesn't like me back? And I think he should be the one to ask me out anyway," Val whispered back.  
  
Jasmine rolled her eyes and was about to tell Val how stupid she was acting when the teacher turned around.  
  
"Girls!! I will not tolerate whispering while I lecture, I'm sure what you have to say can wait till the end of class," the teacher snapped and turned back to the board.  
  
Just then, the bell rang and everyone eagerly stampeded to lunch.  
  
Jasmine noticed Tyler coming near her and Val with Hank beside him. Maybe she'd just try out her matchmaking skills for a second.  
  
Jasmine waited till the boys got nearer and suddenly turned to Val and said in a very loud voice, "I'm sorry Val!!! But I just CAN'T help you with your science homework tonight, if only there was someone who could!"  
  
Val gave her a very confused look and opened her mouth to say, "But I didn't-"  
  
"I can help you with your homework if need help Val," Tyler's voice cut in.  
  
Val whirled around after shooting Jasmine a Now-I-Know-What-You're-Up-To look.  
  
"Sure Tyler, why don't you come over after school and we can get started on it?" Val suggested enthusiastically.  
  
"Looking forward to it," Tyler grinned, touching her arm before walking away with Hank.  
  
Val sank against the locker sighing.  
  
"Girl, you've got it so bad for him," Jasmine laughed, patting her friend on the arm.  
  
Elsewhere:  
  
"REMEMBER, don't tell the teachers where you got it or I might have to get angry, okay?" Jamie said menacingly, handing over a pen filled with drugs.  
  
"Okay," the boys said eagerly, and ran off.  
  
"Hey," a voice called, "Couldn't you get in trouble for that around here?"  
  
Jamie turned around expecting to see a teacher and was surprised to find the new girl standing there.  
  
"Not if someone keeps their mouth shut," Jamie said, narrowing his eyes.  
  
"Oh, I won't tell anyone...for a price," Mary Jane said, placing her hand on Jamie's face.  
  
Jamie shrugged it off lightly, "Listen, I'm sure you're very nice and all, but I've already got a girlfriend and I'm not trading her in for no one," Jamie replied.  
  
Mary Jane stepped back in disappointment when Catie came striding back from the bathroom.  
  
"Well, well well, what's Barbie doing here?"Catie said in disgust.  
  
"Nothing Catie, keep quiet will you?" Jamie snapped.  
  
"I was just leaving anyway," Mary Jane said sweetly, "Bye Jamie," she said, her innocent voice taking on a note of sultry.  
  
Catie glanced at Jamie's face to Mary Jane's with suspicion.  
  
"What's going on Jamie?" Catie demanded.  
  
"Nothing. Just forget about it," Jamie muttered. He slid his hands around Catie's waist leaning in to kiss her when she yanked herself out of his grasp.  
  
"No, I won't just forget about it, did something happen while I was gone? Because you know I hate Barbie already and yet here you are defending her," Catie said suspiciously, "Don't tell me you like her?"  
  
Jamie shook his head disbelieving her, "No f****** way! You know she's not my type," he said, then seeing her skeptical face he pulled her to him again, "You know it's you I love, don't ever think otherwise." He cupped her face, stroking her cheeks with his thumbs before kissing her gently before it became more insistent, more passionate.  
  
Catie's anger melted away like ice cream in the sun.  
  
Mary Jane watched on before walking away to sit in the sprinklers.  
  
A/N: End of chapter 2!! Review please!!! 


	3. Nurse Visits

Chapter 3 Nurse Visits  
  
A/N: I have the WORST case of Writer's Block!!!!! I'm not sure where this stories headed but I felt like updating.  
  
Nurse Angela bustled around the tiny office, searching rapidly for a box of tissues. Her eyes watered repeatedly and her face was red and blotchy. Finally, she could no longer hold it in. AAAAAACCHHHOOO! Possibly one of the biggest sneezes in history erupted.  
  
She slumped tiredly against the wall, resting on the plastic beds provided in the Nurse's office.  
  
God, I feel awful, she thought, tiredly.  
  
The door swung open, and a young blond walked in. She didn't appear to be in any kind of healthwise distress, though she did seem to be a bit wet..  
  
"Hi, my name's Mary Jane, I just got a little wet from the sprinklers, I was hoping you had a towel seeing as I don't want to drip all the way over to the gym," she said.  
  
"Sure, I'm sure there's one around here somewhere," Nurse Angela said, hoisting herself up weakly.  
  
"Oh my, are you ill?," Mary Jane asked, a bit of a gleam in her eye.  
  
"Afraid I am, don't worry, it's not quite contagious," Nurse Angela coughed.  
  
"My mother has a sure fire remedy for that sort of thing," Mary Jane smiled, "Come here and let me show you," she continued, and strode quickly to her side.  
  
"What are you doin---!," Nurse Angela cried in confusion and fear, but she was cut off as Mary Jane fiercely gripped her head.  
  
"Ssssshhh," Mary Jane whispered, lowering her mouth to Nurse Angela's head.  
  
Nurse Angela opened her mouth to scream when suddenly, Mary Jane's mouth closed over her ear. A slimy rough object shot down her ear cutting off her scream as she fainted to the floor.  
  
Mary Jane stood back, an odd, but pleased look on her face.  
  
Then she turned and walked out of the room.  
  
Nurse Angela's body shuddered once, then she rose from the ground effortlessly.  
  
The sickness was gone from her body and she had a mission to complete. She walked to the Nurse's intercom and flipped it on. Clearing her throat she spoke:  
  
"Attention ALL students and faculty members, please report to the Nurse's Office for a MANDATORY check-up IMMEDIATELY, thank you."  
  
Nurse Angela turned off the intercom and sat back with a smile on her face.  
  
A/N: Review Please!!!!!!! Because I'm stuck! And I need to know if this story is starting to suck. 


	4. Something Strange

Chapter 4 Something Strange  
  
Catie walked down the hall of school after hearing Nurse Angela's weird announcement. The faculty had gone in first to see her and had come out looking a bit strange, now they were bustling back in forth, trying to herd students into the Nurse's Office.  
  
Catie noticed that preppy cheerleader, Val, was also in line looking a little confused.  
  
"Hey," Catie called out to her, "Do you know what this is all about?"  
  
Val shrugged, "The announcement just said we had to have a check-up with Nurse Angela."  
  
Catie muttered her thanks and walked past her down the hall. Suddenly, an arm reached out to grab her.  
  
"Hey! What the-," she yelled until a familiar face popped up in front of her, "Jamie, what's the big idea?!," she said, yanking her arm out of his grasp.  
  
"Come on Catie," Jamie said, tugging insistently on her arm, "Let's blow this place, nobody's gonna notice we're gone anyway, we could go somewhere..quite," Jamie said, his eyes glowing.  
  
Catie smirked and pushed him away, "Gee, aren't you the romantic?," she replied sarcastically.  
  
Jamie gave her a puppy dog look, Catie smiled, "Ok, Ok, let's get out of here," she gave in.  
  
  
  
Meanwhile.  
  
"Hey Val, this is kind of weird huh?," Tyler said walking up to Val's place in line.  
  
"Yeah, really weird, and totally time consuming," Val said, proud at herself that she was actually having a normal conversation with TYLER and not even sounding the least bit nervous.  
  
Yeah...so..Iwaswonderingifyouwantedtoleaveandhavelunchwithme,"Tyler blurted out shyly.  
  
Val couldn't help but laugh, "Um..sorry I didn't quite catch that.  
  
Tyler took a deep breath, "I was wondering if you wanted to leave and have lunch with me?."  
  
Val's eyes widened, "You mean ditch?"  
  
"Well...yeah, I mean no one will know we're missing and it could take hours for them to check everyone with only one nurse," Tyler reasoned.  
  
Val continued to contemplate tarnishing her perfect record when she noticed the glint in Tyler's eye. It could be thrilling to break the rules..but just this once.  
  
"Ok," Val happily agreed, "Let's go."  
  
"Let's go where?" Jasmine interrupted, Hank at her side.  
  
Tyler turned to her, "Val and I were just going to grab some lunch, want to come?" he offered,  
  
Jasmine and Hank exchanged brief glances, "Sure," they replied.  
  
A/N: I'm going to stop right here cause I don't know what else to write! As always REVIEW! 


	5. What's Going On?

A/N: Sorry it took so long to update but I still have a bad case of writer's block even though I should just follow the movie line. Any who, here's Chapter 5! Enjoy!!  
  
Chapter 5  
  
What's Going On?  
  
Jamie and Catie headed out to the student parking lot, all the guards and teachers were still inside helping with the check up's.  
  
The other door leading out to the parking lot flew open and Jamie pulled Catie behind a wall in case it was a teacher.  
  
Instead they saw, to their surprise, Hank, Tyler, Val, and Jasmine sneaking out.  
  
Jamie and Catie stepped out from behind the wall, "Well, well, well, look who we have here, never suspected to see YOU guys ditching," Jamie said, sarcastically.  
  
Tyler brushed the comment off, "Yeah, well, why stay here when we should be at lunch?" he shrugged.  
  
"True, true, I'm not saying it's a bad thing, actually, I'm impressed, I mean, you guys have your perfect records on the line here," Jamie replied.  
  
"Look, let's just get out of here before someone catches us, please?" Val pleaded, getting a bit nervous.  
  
"Too late," Jasmine murmured, as the Vice Principal, Ms. Cisneros, came out, her hands on her hips.  
  
"Would any of you like to explain to me what you are doing out here when you should be inside having your check-up?" She snapped.  
  
They looked at each other blankly until Jamie opened his mouth, "Well you see-," Jamie started.  
  
"Save your lies Mr. Waite, just because of this little incident, I'm going to escort ALL of you to the Nurse's office, right NOW!" she yelled, pointing the building.  
  
They begrudgingly trudged up to the Nurse's Office where she left them all with Nurse Angela and Coach Willis.  
  
They exchanged glances warily, when the door clicked shut.  
  
"Well, look what we have here Angie, some bad students who didn't have their exam, look's like we'll have to teach them a lesson," Coach Willis taunted.  
  
"I agree," Nurse Angela smiled, as they both took a step forward towards them.  
  
Val backed up in fear, gripping what she thought was the office door handle, turning around she yanked the door open, only to have the lunch lady, Mrs. Nelson's body come tumbling down upon her. Something resembling a shrimp slithered out of her body.  
  
"What the hell is that!!?," Hank cried.  
  
"I don't know, but grab it and let's go!" Jamie shouted, as he headed for the door.  
  
Val continued to scream as the decaying body slumped on her. Tyler turned around shoving it off her as the rest of them bolted out the door, leaving the Nurse and the Coach to stare after them with an odd smile.  
  
"They won't get very far," Nurse Angela commented.  
  
"Shit! Oh shit," Jamie cursed, "What the hell is going on here?" he yelled.  
  
"I have no idea, but we got to get out of here!" Hank shouted, as they headed to the parking lot.  
  
"You take Tyler's car and meet me and Catie at my house, I have a feeling it has something to do with that thing that came out of Mrs. Nelson," Jamie replied.  
  
"Wait a minute! Where's Jasmine?!," Catie yelled.  
  
"I'm right here," Jasmine cried, running up from behind, "I slipped but they didn't catch me! Let's go!" she said.  
  
"Wait for me!" Mary Jane cried, suddenly appearing, "Something weird is going on back there!"  
  
"Look, there's no time to explain, just come with us," Tyler said.  
  
They headed for their cars but found the parking lot filled with students.  
  
"They've already got them," Catie whispered.  
  
They stared blankly at the group as they got into the cars.  
  
"Just don't make eye contact and drive FAST," Jamie told them.  
  
They buckled their seat belts and floored the pedal, just as the student's began throwing themselves at the cars.  
  
"Drive Tyler!" Jasmine screamed.  
  
They drove as fast as they could, reaching Jamie's house in a matter of moments.  
  
"Come on," Jamie said, leading them into a back room filled with bottles and scientific instruments.  
  
He took the thing from Hank and placed it under a microscope, dissecting it and studying it.  
  
After testing it for a few moments, he turned the rest of them, who were staring at him in surprise for being so mart, except for Catie, and said, "It's a species I've never heard of before, but all I know is that it's reactive to water and destroyed by my drugs, I poured some on it and it melted it."  
  
"But what is it?" Hank asked.  
  
"Something not human," Jamie replied, "And it's infecting our school, any one of us could be infected...and there's only one way to find out who," he finished, he picked up a handful of his pens filled with the powder drugs he had nearby and handed one to each person.  
  
"We can't," Val shrieked, "That's illegal!"  
  
"Do it," Jamie ordered.  
  
Val stood up ready to defend herself, when Tyler put a hand on her shoulder, "Please Val, it's the only way," he said quietly.  
  
Val looked around at them and sat back down sullenly.  
  
"I'll go first," Catie offered, and shoved the pen up her nose, inhaling deeply, she gasped for breath as she tore it away, wiping her nose and shaking her head as it began to take its toll.  
  
They each did it in turn until there was only Jasmine and Mary Jane left.  
  
"I can't', I'm allergic," Mary Jane cried.  
  
"You have to, or else we won't know and we'll have to kill you," Jamie replied calmly, the drugs working his brain.  
  
Mary Jane held it to her nose when a crash suddenly tore everyone's gaze from her.  
  
Jasmine had jumped out the window, throwing the pen to the floor, they chased after her as she got into a car filled with teachers.  
  
"Damn! They got her already," Hank wailed.  
  
"Alright, let's; just calm down," Jamie said, "We need to figure out a way to kill these bastards," he reminded them.  
  
"Kill the Queen," Catie said.  
  
"What?" Tyler said, looking at her.  
  
"There's a theory about aliens, or unidentified creatures, they are usually linked together where you can kill one but another will just take it's place, the only full way to destroy them is to kill the leader or Queen," Catie explained.  
  
"Are you crazy or something?" Val screamed.  
  
"Hey! You shut up! This is the only chance we got, we have to at least try it," Jamie yelled, pointing at Val.  
  
"Okay, Okay," Tyler said, "Look there's a big football game tonight, everyone will be there, we're bound to find the leader there."  
  
"Then that's where we have to go," Hank said.  
  
"Let's get what we need and get tot that game," Jamie nodded.  
  
Later.....  
  
"Ok, there's at least a hundred people here! How are we going to find it?" Catie cried, as they stood on the field.  
  
"You're supposed to be the expert," Val snapped.  
  
"Let's stop fighting, first of all," Mary Jane suggested.  
  
"Damnit! There's Carlson, and he's headed this way!," Jamie muttered, "Let's get to the gym, if Coach Willis is infected, I bet the whole football team is, too, we have to get away from them."  
  
They ran to the gym, and locked them selves inside.  
  
"Okay, what do we know that can narrow down the suspects?" Jamie asked.  
  
"It wasn't any of the people standing in line to get their exam, otherwise, they wouldn't have needed to get infected if they already were," Tyler pointed out.  
  
"And it seems as if the teachers got it first," Hank added.  
  
"Nurse Angela had to be one of the first, she was the one who called the meeting," Catie said.  
  
"That's' right," Jamie said, snapping his fingers, "Tyler, you and Hank track down Nurse Angela outside, Catie, Val , Mary Jane and I will search inside the school."  
  
"Got it," Tyler said, as he and Hank headed outside.  
  
"Let's go," Jamie beckoned and they stepped into the hall.  
  
"Val, you and Mary Jane go left, Catie and I will go right," he said, and they split up.  
  
Val and Mary Jane headed into the pool area, where suddenly Mary Jane stooped by the pool.  
  
"Don't you just love water, sometimes I just sit in the sprinklers all day long," she murmured dreamily.  
  
"What?" Val asked in confusion.  
  
Mary Jane looked up and smiled.  
  
"Why are you looking at me-", Val said, when a pair of strong arms gripped her by the neck and waist.  
  
"JASMINE!" Val gasped for air.  
  
"You pathetic little humans are so stupid, I don't know why you continue to struggle, think about it, if you let us in, we will make your life better, you'll be smarter, healthier, and more powerful than you ever dreamed, it's too bad you're so annoying Val, I don't think it would be wise to let you live," Mary Jane said.  
  
She began to transform, growing legs of an octopus and a face of Medusa, the snake woman. As her body grew, it rose several feet up.  
  
She turned a sickly green color as her eyes turned red.  
  
"B-ut.I-saw.y-y-ou! Yo-uu took-the dr-r-rugs," Val gasped.  
  
"No you didn't, you saw me raise the pen, but you were all too bust watching Jasmine to see me empty it out," Mary Jane hissed, 'And now you must die."  
  
"Not so fast B***H!" Catie cried, appearing behind her, "Tyler! NOW!."  
  
The others had rushed in unnoticed, and now Tyler was jumping from the bleachers and landing on top of Mary Jane's face.  
  
"Go to hell..your Majesty!" Tyler screamed, and shoved 2 of the pens into her eyes.  
  
"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" Mary Jane screamed, as her face began to melt and bubble, the drugs traveled throughput her body, causing her to shake uncontrollably.  
  
Tyler jumped off of her, knocking Val out of Jasmine's arms.  
  
Mary Jane's body exploded, sending slime in every direction possible.  
  
They fell to the floor, covering them selves. When the explosion ended, they lifted their heads and groaned.  
  
"What happened?" Jasmine asked groggily.  
  
Val hugged her, "It's a long story."  
  
Epilogue  
  
"Doesn't look like anybody remembers," Jamie said, as he, Catie, Val, Tyler (who were now dating), Hank, and Jasmine rested upon one of the lunch tables.  
  
"But we know," Val said, as Tyler cradled her in his arms, planting kisses on her neck and forehead.  
  
"Well, nothing else really matters, the bad guy was destroyed and you guys save the World, but nobody's going to believe you," Jasmine said, cracking a smile.  
  
"I helped save the world and did something good for a change, and no one knows except for you guys," Jamie said, "None of you better say anything about that, I wouldn't want to ruin my reputation after all."  
  
They laughed together as they got up and headed to class.  
  
END  
  
A/N: OKAY, I know it was BAD and sort of rushed but I just wanted to get it over with, Please forgive me and review anyway and tell me how much it sucked!!!! 


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